I don't know where to begin.
I received a phone call from the Oncologist from CTCA and the biopsy results are in and they are not good. It seems that the Cancer that we were hoping it wasn't going to be....it is.
My Mom has a very, very, very rare and agressive Cancer.
For now she is till in the hospital and they are trying to make it possible to bring her home and at that point we will get Hospice and just try to make every day the best we can.
Aside from this message the hardest thing I've done in my life to date is telling Broden. My beautiful, sweet, innocent little boy who love his "Gamma" so much is going to have to learn at the young and tender age of 7 how to say "goodbye to someone that means the world to him.
We were hoping to have a "Merry Christmas" this year, but at this point it does not appear that's going to happen for us on December 25th, so GOD WILLING we will have it a little early.
Please continue praying for my Mom and for my Broden too.
Hugs and Kisses
Monday, November 29, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Saturday Novemebr 27th
WOW. It's been almost a week since I was last able to post and a LOT of things have taken place since then. I'm not sure that it's necessary to go into all of it, when the most important part is that my Mom was taken via ambulance to the ER department last night and was admitted at 4 am to the Critical Care Cluster on the Oncology Floor.
Against my will and better judgement we (Matt and I) brought my Mom home on Tuesday from CTCA (Cancer Treatment Center of America) in Philadelphia. I understood that she wanted to be home for the Holiday but considering her physical health and mental status I did NOT think this was a good idea, but did it anyway hoping I was being over cautious. Unfortunately, I was NOT being ridiculous.
Last time I took her home from the hospital it was St. Peter's and it was for 4 days and she then became an Emergency Admission in CTCA. This time she was home for 3 days and became and Emergency Admission to Critical Care.
It seems that her lung (right side with Cancer) has filled up again and that fluid has accumulated around the outside of the lung. The fluid in the lung can be forced out with medication, it's the exterior fluid that is threatening. This fluid becomes too heavy and can collapse the lung. So, this afternnon, they will be doing another Thorasic Procedure (also done at CTCA) to remove the fluids. They go in through her back and take it out. The first time this was done in CTCA it took about 18 days for the fluid to build up to a dangerous level. This time it took 8 days.
Also, she was sent home with 24/7 oxygen, breathing treatments, and a lot of medication. A normal and good breating rate of oxygen is 97. Anything below 90 will cause the machine to start blinking red to notify the staff that the person has reached an inappropriate level. My Mom has been running at 82-87 without oxygen. As of last night in the ambulance she was at 77 oxygen and while in the ER she dropped to 62 oxygen. She is currently on 100% oxygen which can only be used for short term because at long term it has many many serious side effects - one of them being blindness. They have tried to slowly take her off 100% and use a regular oxygen tank and have been unsuccessful. So, as of right now she is on 100%.
Hopefully, after they do the draining they will be able to change her oxygen supply and amount.
At this point there is still no diagnosis or primary. This means that NO CHEMO can be started. The only information I was given by CTCA is that this is a very, very, very rare and agressive Cancer. Until the biopsy results come back no more information is available.
Due to the fact that my Mom is on a mask she can NOT talk on the phone. I'm not sure about visitors, but at this point would have to say that it's "not a good idea" for people to be going to see her.
I think I've included everything, not sure. Only have 1 working brain cell left and it's not at full strength!!!!
Will try and post again soon. Thank you everyone for your thoughts, prayers and emails. We love you all.
Hugs and Kisses.
KEEP PRAYING...........
Against my will and better judgement we (Matt and I) brought my Mom home on Tuesday from CTCA (Cancer Treatment Center of America) in Philadelphia. I understood that she wanted to be home for the Holiday but considering her physical health and mental status I did NOT think this was a good idea, but did it anyway hoping I was being over cautious. Unfortunately, I was NOT being ridiculous.
Last time I took her home from the hospital it was St. Peter's and it was for 4 days and she then became an Emergency Admission in CTCA. This time she was home for 3 days and became and Emergency Admission to Critical Care.
It seems that her lung (right side with Cancer) has filled up again and that fluid has accumulated around the outside of the lung. The fluid in the lung can be forced out with medication, it's the exterior fluid that is threatening. This fluid becomes too heavy and can collapse the lung. So, this afternnon, they will be doing another Thorasic Procedure (also done at CTCA) to remove the fluids. They go in through her back and take it out. The first time this was done in CTCA it took about 18 days for the fluid to build up to a dangerous level. This time it took 8 days.
Also, she was sent home with 24/7 oxygen, breathing treatments, and a lot of medication. A normal and good breating rate of oxygen is 97. Anything below 90 will cause the machine to start blinking red to notify the staff that the person has reached an inappropriate level. My Mom has been running at 82-87 without oxygen. As of last night in the ambulance she was at 77 oxygen and while in the ER she dropped to 62 oxygen. She is currently on 100% oxygen which can only be used for short term because at long term it has many many serious side effects - one of them being blindness. They have tried to slowly take her off 100% and use a regular oxygen tank and have been unsuccessful. So, as of right now she is on 100%.
Hopefully, after they do the draining they will be able to change her oxygen supply and amount.
At this point there is still no diagnosis or primary. This means that NO CHEMO can be started. The only information I was given by CTCA is that this is a very, very, very rare and agressive Cancer. Until the biopsy results come back no more information is available.
Due to the fact that my Mom is on a mask she can NOT talk on the phone. I'm not sure about visitors, but at this point would have to say that it's "not a good idea" for people to be going to see her.
I think I've included everything, not sure. Only have 1 working brain cell left and it's not at full strength!!!!
Will try and post again soon. Thank you everyone for your thoughts, prayers and emails. We love you all.
Hugs and Kisses.
KEEP PRAYING...........
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Saturday Novenber 20th
THANK GOD FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
Oh my goddness everyday is just amazing and not necessarily in a good way.
Friday was a rough day for all.
After enjoying Thursday so much with Matt and Broden and having a decent visit with my Mom the winds changed drastically. I woke up after 3 hours of sleep to a fever and some kind of stomach virus. At first I thought I may have had food poisoning (familiar feeling because I've had it before) but after a few hours realized that it was probably just a stress related issue. I went back to bed for a while, comfortably, because I knew that Uncle Fred and Diana were both visiting my Mom. When I did wake up I called the hospital only to find out that they had to drain 750ml's from my Mom's right lung and were staring the first of 2 blood transfusions.
This was a huge unexpected occurence. So, after going to Target to get a thermometer to make sure I did not have a fever, I went to the hospital to see for myself what was going on. To be honest it wasn't good. It seems that after they drained the fluids from her lungs she was doing better but unfortunately it was short lived. Pat was totally exhausted and not feeling well at all. We spend some of our time together just crying, holding hands, and hugging. At this point we both admitted that we are very scared but NOT giving up.
I stayed for hours and left so my Mom could sleep. I arrived back at my lonely hotel room thinking to myself that this was just 1 bad day....and spent the whole entire sleepless night thinking and concentrating on the good days that were sure to come and then, Saturday came.
None of the doctors or mediacl staff can figure out why but my Mom got violently sick early Saturday morning and it lasted for many hours. I don't know how anyone who really hasn't eaten can vomit for hours but it is possible. I arrived back at the hospital on Saturday to find a totally wiped out Mom. During all this her blood pressure also went very high and they think it was just due to the complete stress her body is in. We spent the day together and the vomitting stopped and she was able to get some sleep. When I left at 8 o'clock she seemed to be stable and was able to drink some water. Slowly, her blood pressure started to go down and she was still being closely monitored. Sunday will be a whole new and BETTER day - for sure.
So, I am now home for the first time in a week and am going to try and enjoy some time with my favorite and most loved 7 year old. I'm not sure when I will be going back to CTCA. I know that there are quite a few visitors planned for tomorrow (Sunday) and both my Mom and I are so grateful. I may go back to CTCA tomorrow night and stay there until Monday night when I would have to leave to be back home for a school event for Broden on Tuesday morning. If only I could split in two.....
So, keep all fingers crossed. Hopefully Sunday will be a better day and the beginning of many to come. From what I've been told the Biopsy results may be back on Tuesday.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU to everyone.
KEEP PRAYING. Love hugs and kisses.
Oh my goddness everyday is just amazing and not necessarily in a good way.
Friday was a rough day for all.
After enjoying Thursday so much with Matt and Broden and having a decent visit with my Mom the winds changed drastically. I woke up after 3 hours of sleep to a fever and some kind of stomach virus. At first I thought I may have had food poisoning (familiar feeling because I've had it before) but after a few hours realized that it was probably just a stress related issue. I went back to bed for a while, comfortably, because I knew that Uncle Fred and Diana were both visiting my Mom. When I did wake up I called the hospital only to find out that they had to drain 750ml's from my Mom's right lung and were staring the first of 2 blood transfusions.
This was a huge unexpected occurence. So, after going to Target to get a thermometer to make sure I did not have a fever, I went to the hospital to see for myself what was going on. To be honest it wasn't good. It seems that after they drained the fluids from her lungs she was doing better but unfortunately it was short lived. Pat was totally exhausted and not feeling well at all. We spend some of our time together just crying, holding hands, and hugging. At this point we both admitted that we are very scared but NOT giving up.
I stayed for hours and left so my Mom could sleep. I arrived back at my lonely hotel room thinking to myself that this was just 1 bad day....and spent the whole entire sleepless night thinking and concentrating on the good days that were sure to come and then, Saturday came.
None of the doctors or mediacl staff can figure out why but my Mom got violently sick early Saturday morning and it lasted for many hours. I don't know how anyone who really hasn't eaten can vomit for hours but it is possible. I arrived back at the hospital on Saturday to find a totally wiped out Mom. During all this her blood pressure also went very high and they think it was just due to the complete stress her body is in. We spent the day together and the vomitting stopped and she was able to get some sleep. When I left at 8 o'clock she seemed to be stable and was able to drink some water. Slowly, her blood pressure started to go down and she was still being closely monitored. Sunday will be a whole new and BETTER day - for sure.
So, I am now home for the first time in a week and am going to try and enjoy some time with my favorite and most loved 7 year old. I'm not sure when I will be going back to CTCA. I know that there are quite a few visitors planned for tomorrow (Sunday) and both my Mom and I are so grateful. I may go back to CTCA tomorrow night and stay there until Monday night when I would have to leave to be back home for a school event for Broden on Tuesday morning. If only I could split in two.....
So, keep all fingers crossed. Hopefully Sunday will be a better day and the beginning of many to come. From what I've been told the Biopsy results may be back on Tuesday.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU to everyone.
KEEP PRAYING. Love hugs and kisses.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Thursday-November 18th
It's been a few days since I last wrote anything, been very busy. We are both still here. Pat is still at CTCA in Philadelphia and I spend most of my time there with her and we are still waiting for answers. They have done some more test, bloodwork, analysis' of various areas and there are no concrete answers yet. I can't believe it's been so long and still nothing. Waiting and not knowing is a living hell.
As far as her attitude and spirits go she is actually doing better than in the beginning of the week. Sometimes she is confussed, sometimes scared, sometimes sad, but overall trying her best. We were both very lucky this week and got to see Broden on 2 seperate ocassions. Her eyes always sparkle when she sees him, as do mine. He is such an amazing little boy.
It was mentioned earlier today that she may be discharged tomorrow, but at 7pm it was still unclear.
Tomorrow is a brand new day. Hanging in there.
Thank you all so much for your support in all the ways it's been shown.
Keep Praying........Xo
As far as her attitude and spirits go she is actually doing better than in the beginning of the week. Sometimes she is confussed, sometimes scared, sometimes sad, but overall trying her best. We were both very lucky this week and got to see Broden on 2 seperate ocassions. Her eyes always sparkle when she sees him, as do mine. He is such an amazing little boy.
It was mentioned earlier today that she may be discharged tomorrow, but at 7pm it was still unclear.
Tomorrow is a brand new day. Hanging in there.
Thank you all so much for your support in all the ways it's been shown.
Keep Praying........Xo
Monday, November 15, 2010
From Philadelphia
Wow. What a day. i don't remember what I posted last time and am too tired to look, so..... we had an appointment at CTCA (cancer treatment centers of america) for this morning at 10 am. Originally we were going to drop Broden at school and drive into Philadelphi then but my Mom had a really bad Sunday morning and afternoon, so we drove to the hotel last night. We then went to CTCA at 10 o'clock and started our first day or our 3 day assesment/consultation and as of 2:30pm my Mom was admitted to the Cancer Hospital as an Emergency.
I had to come back to the hotel to grab a few things (30 minutes each way) and when I left they were putting in an IV, drawing blood, giving something for pain, and starting fluids.
I was told by an Oncologist prior to admission that they want to do tests that were not done in St. Peter's. She mentioned a Colonoscopy, MRI of the brain, Biopsy (new site), Pet Scan and a few others.
Hopefully these tests will be done soon and the answers will be quick and informative.
Will be heaidng back to the CTCA Hospital in a litle while and, probably, be staying there. She is in a private room and there is a couch I can sleep on.
That's all I have for now.
Keep Praying........Xoxo
I had to come back to the hotel to grab a few things (30 minutes each way) and when I left they were putting in an IV, drawing blood, giving something for pain, and starting fluids.
I was told by an Oncologist prior to admission that they want to do tests that were not done in St. Peter's. She mentioned a Colonoscopy, MRI of the brain, Biopsy (new site), Pet Scan and a few others.
Hopefully these tests will be done soon and the answers will be quick and informative.
Will be heaidng back to the CTCA Hospital in a litle while and, probably, be staying there. She is in a private room and there is a couch I can sleep on.
That's all I have for now.
Keep Praying........Xoxo
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Pat
Okay, so this is the first few free moments I have at home. My Mom was released form the hospital late Wednesday night and I have been spending all time there including sleeping. So,.....
There was a 2nd biopsy done and unfortunately the results were the same as the 1st one - inconclusive. Meaning they still can not find the Primary Cancer Source and until that is done they can not begin any Chemo.
Since our experience at St. Peter's and with this specific Oncology Group has been awful, we will be going on Monday to the Cancer Treatment Center of America in Philidelphia. We will be there anywhere form 3-5 days for a consultation. I'm praying that they will be able to help us. Everyday that goes by and nothing is done is a day wasted that I (or anyone else) can not get back. Hopefully things will start to happen in Phili.
Thank you to everyone for the calls, emails, and prayers. We can not express how much all of it means. Thank you.
Keep Praying.........Xoxo
There was a 2nd biopsy done and unfortunately the results were the same as the 1st one - inconclusive. Meaning they still can not find the Primary Cancer Source and until that is done they can not begin any Chemo.
Since our experience at St. Peter's and with this specific Oncology Group has been awful, we will be going on Monday to the Cancer Treatment Center of America in Philidelphia. We will be there anywhere form 3-5 days for a consultation. I'm praying that they will be able to help us. Everyday that goes by and nothing is done is a day wasted that I (or anyone else) can not get back. Hopefully things will start to happen in Phili.
Thank you to everyone for the calls, emails, and prayers. We can not express how much all of it means. Thank you.
Keep Praying.........Xoxo
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Hopefully Soon
My cousin Kristine was Sweet enough to set this up a few days ago. I'm hoping to be able to "post" tomorrow about what's been going on with my Mom. Thank you so much for all the visits, calls, emails, texts, cards, flowers/planrs, fruit baskets, muffin baskets, candy/cookies and PRAYERS. The support is amazing and so appreciated. Thank you all so very much.
Keep Praying...
Keep Praying...
Sunday, November 7, 2010
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